Tag: my children

Borderline Mother and Autism (Part 1)

Credit Photo Velizar Ivanov

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By Fabrizio Catalfamo

“I would like to point out that this is not an article to blame mothers but a simple (non-technical) analysis, the result of personal experiences, therefore to be read in a narrative and non-scientific way, on the other hand I would not have the necessary qualifications.”

I am the father of three splendid boys, two of those born of a second marriage. One of the two youngest will turn twelve in four days, diagnosed in autism spectrum when he was 3 years old. The mother, never diagnosed (also because she refuses every test) in my opinion with deep teenage borderline wounds.

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Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Is a condition characterized by difficulties regulating emotion. This means that people who experience BPD feel emotions intensely and for extended periods of time, and it is harder for them to return to a stable baseline after an emotionally triggering event.

This difficulty can lead to impulsivity, poor self-image, stormy relationships and intense emotional responses to stressors. Struggling with self-regulation can also result in dangerous behaviors such as self-harm (e.g. cutting).

It’s estimated that 1.4% of the adult U.S. population experiences BPD. Nearly 75% of people diagnosed with BPD are women. Recent research suggests that men may be equally affected by BPD, but are commonly misdiagnosed with PTSD or depression. 

Autism is related to emotional disorder

I lived for more than 10 years with the mother of my 2 children and after the first apparently “normal” times, the borderline personality manifested itself.
This led me to try to understand the reasons and the causes of all this, reading and informing myself, about this type of disorder that destroyed the relations of this woman at the same speed as everyone could fall in love with her.

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Over time, I learned to recognize this kind of personality and at the same time for obvious reasons, I met parents of other autistic children. The thing that struck me at the beginning was that, the most part of the parents were single parents and those that were not, presented with evidence the presence of the man, subordinate to the woman. Clearly in the rare cases of couples, the man appeared as a second-rate figure.
I wouldn’t want to bore you too much with this story, I promise you I’ll follow up on the next posts.
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