The Five Elements of Emotional Intelligence
Thinking correctly means understanding the facts, explaining actions and therefore elaborating abstract models of reality but it also means understanding, making oneself understood by others, therefore it means adapting to new situations by modifying the situation itself if necessary. Intelligence is, in general, always accompanied by the awareness of what happens inside and outside of us, in particular, emotional intelligence, measures the awareness of how emotions affect our way of being.
The human mind is multifaceted and in its complexity the influence of the emotional world is very important, therefore emotional intelligence is also linked to social adaptation and therefore has important repercussions in the person’s global maturation process.
Emotional intelligence and the IQ are two complementary intelligences, in fact Daniel Goleman states that the emotional attitude is a metabolite, as it determines how well we can use our other abilities including the purely intellectual ones that are measured by the quotient. intellectual, that’s why the emotional attitude is a quality that comes into play in the realization of ourselves, the emotional attitude, which we can also call emotional intelligence, is made up of a series of fundamental emotional skills that include five essential elements:
The first is self-awareness and therefore the knowledge of one’s inner states, the second fundamental element is self-control, which allows you to regulate your emotions in some way to better cope with every situation, the third element is the motivation that guides us to achieve goals, the fourth element is empathy, thanks to which we perceive the feelings of others, we are able to adopt their perspective and finally another essential element that makes up emotional intelligence and that allows us to to realize ourselves, is the social ability, that is the ability to relate to others.
The fundamental emotional skills are precisely: self-awareness, that is the ability to recognize the world of feelings, then we have self-control, as we have seen, that is the ability to control emotional impulses without repressing them and without entering into conflict with these impulses and without even being overwhelmed, finally there is empathy, that is the ability to perceive the feelings of others being able to adopt their perspective, this is already a social skill that makes us interact positively with other people, allows you to resolve conflicts and communication problems with others.
Generally, people have little propensity to define their moods and experience difficulty, for example, in communicating sadness, they manifest anger and hostility more frequently but not sadness, this lack of awareness always comes from a low emotional competence and from a poor relational ability that leads the person to react in an inadequate way to defeats and hence the pessimism or even depression that lead to isolation arises. Goldman says learning emotional skills is a psychological vaccination precisely against discomfort in general. Now, just to better understand, the main emotional dimensions, those recognized as universal are: anger, sadness, fear, joy, love, surprise, disgust and shame but we must know that there is an emotional literacy more sophisticated, which consists in teaching not only what emotions are but also what they are for and how they express themselves.This means teaching to understand oneself and others on an emotional level.
Today we no longer have time to stop and look at each other’s face because we are more and more in a rush. Instead, scrutinizing the face is an important education because it allows us to go beyond ourselves to encounter something new, tending towards the other means not absorbing it into our being but accessing its individual singular peculiarities to grasp the vital appeal that the the other wants to address us which is often a request for help or simply for understanding.
Often children are afraid of their feelings and are unable to separate emotions from behavior, so teachers should show how all emotions are acceptable while behaviors can be acceptable or not. The problem is to define which behaviors are acceptable and which, on the other hand, are not, often for an outburst of anger children may have been punished and believe that the very fact of feeling certain emotions is in itself bad, it is very important therefore to help them understand that, the sensations are simply a part of us and there is nothing wrong, they are natural, the revolutionary idea is to explain that until you are calm, it is impossible to think correctly.
Children are told that they must first calm down so that they can clearly see what is happening and then decide what to do. Emotional intelligence is a kind of brain elasticity that is gained through exercise, a very important exercise is to identify emotions that are hidden behind each of our actions, to do this, we must broaden our emotional language, sometimes it is not enough to say I’m sad, we need to be more concrete, “I’m sad because I feel disappointed, I’m disappointed because I’m a little angry and confused at the same time! ” If we have a greater awareness of what we think, then we can better manage our behavior and consequently we can find a reason for the behavior of others.
So, in conclusion: primary emotions are innate emotions and can be found in any population, that is, they are universal, secondary emotions instead, are those that originate from the combination of primary emotions and then develop with growth, so the primary emotions are, the anger generated by frustration in general, which can also be manifested through aggression, then we have fear, which aims at the survival of the subject in a dangerous situation, then there is the sadness that arises as a result of a loss or when we do not reach our goals, then we have joy, which is a positive state of mind of those who have achieved their goals, surprise, which originates from an unexpected event, there is contempt which is a feeling of total lack of esteem therefore of rejection towards people or things considered without dignity and finally we have the disgust which is a repulsive response!
I thank you for your attention, hoping to be able to grow together towards freedom.