What does sexuality have to do with the relationship between an abused person and a narcissist?
I will explain to you, why it is impossible to talk about sexuality without touching the social aspect. So let’s start with this.
During our childhood, we are subjected to a whole range of emotional abuse and neglect of varying severity, and one of these types of abuse, the less discussed, is sexual abuse.
One of the very characteristic things about sexual abuse, is that socially they tend to be different, male from female.When a girl grows up, basically in our culture, her sexuality is repressed in different ways, for example when the children are still in diapers and therefore are exploring their surrounding world, it can happen that their hands go precisely in the genital areas and therefore they feel that there are different sensations in those parts, in the case of females, what often happens, the parent who takes care of the child, tends to move the child’s hand away from those areas, as if to mean something incorrect. On the other hand, in the case of male children, there is a tendency not to intervene.
As girls grow up, they tend to be ashamed and guilty of their sexuality, for example a girl who is turning into a woman and freely expresses her sexuality can be called a person of little value, simply because she chooses to expressing her sexuality or having sex for pleasure. Conversely, when a child grows up he is taught to become almost a sex creditor, having almost convince women to have sex with him. In many cultures, a man’s worth is based on how much he is able to sexually conquer women. Obviously this creates a major social problem, on one hand, women who learn to repress their sexuality from childhood, on the other, men who become sex-hungry predators.
Thus begins a race of deficiency, of lack of sex that often leads the man to take refuge in compensatory behaviors to fill that void. So they turn either to porn, as a junk food of sex, or to prostitution, where there are often many women extremely abused and forced into sexual practices.
Men who use porn tend to enjoy less during sexual practice, this is precisely because most of the porn we see in circulation is of such a degrading level, and lacking in respect towards women. Then, when we are in a real situation, it is not enough to be stimulated a little but like junk food, when a person gets used to eating that, then the real food no longer tastes, because we get used to excess salty or sweet flavors.
All this, to get to our pathological narcissist who, predator and manipulator, very often exploits sexual trauma to create monographs. In the case of women for example, if a woman has suppressed her sexuality, the narcissist can play the role of liberator of this woman’s sexuality, perhaps making her have particularly pleasant experiences or making her feel free from that point of view in order to then hook her. sexually or use this hook to control her life. But on the other hand, a female narcissist can exploit men’s thirst for sex, and in fact many female narcissists tend to use sexual seduction to act as a hook, to bait men.
Questa violazione continua e lo vediamo persino nei media come il corpo e la sessualità della donna vengono utilizzati, come uno strumento. Questo fa sì che molte donne vivono con dentro di sé, traumi sessuali che poi possono essere sfruttati dai narcisisti.
The narcissist can take advantage of people’s particular traumas.
In our culture, many women and children grow up with more or less serious sexual trauma because, as they grow up, the sexuality of girls and women is often violated both when they are children and later in adulthood.
The sexual limits of girls are constantly violated, by parents, relatives, classmates, friends, etc.
This violation continues and we even see it in the media as the woman’s body and sexuality are used, as a tool. This causes many women to live with sexual traumas within themselves which can then be exploited by narcissists.
This obviously applies to men who, precisely being in a state of sexual deficiency and often strong gaps in self-esteem related to sex or another more serious trauma.
The artificial cause that man must be a predator and must therefore always want sex means that many sexually abused men are not taken seriously.
Their use is not considered as such and is therefore repressed and this can then be exploited by any manipulators.
With that said how do we heal our sexual abuse?
Like all traumas, sexual abuse must also be healed by focusing not only on the emotions related to that aspect of us, but also on the body sensations, even in the intimate parts or emotions related to those areas.
Talk to an expert, you can go search on the internet, Google and you will find tons of experts and tons of pages that describe this topic with many details on how to use tools to heal our sexual aspect.
Another reason why it is very important to heal this aspect of ours to take care of us is linked not only to our sexuality but also to our creativity, our desire, our pleasure. So our ability to be creative is also related to our sexual aspect. By repressing that aspect we repress a very important part of our life, also for this reason it is very important to go and heal, to work on ourselves.