Love and Narcissism

Feelings have their roots in the unconscious. When we tell someone I love you, we’re actually not entirely credible. Love which is a feeling, is not something that the ego possesses and therefore it is not something that can give to another, as the ego cannot completely dispose of love, therefore it cannot offer it, because as Freud says , the ego is not master in his own house. So love is not a matter of the ego even if initially the ego believes itself to be omnipotent, it cannot govern its passions. the psyche is not only rational but is moved by unconscious processes. So if the ego is not master of his thoughts how can he be master of his loves? Therefore, when we tell someone I love you, we are not entirely credible, the I love you hides a deception and also hides a self-deception that is aimed in a certain sense at the conservation of the species.

Breaking the ego

Saying I love you is also the result of the survival instinct that inhabits us and moves us in an enigmatic way. It is no coincidence that the experiences of the soul escape any classification; the totality of these experiences is elusive and chaotic, it emerges from the abyss into which the ego does not want to enter, however, the ego only enters the abyss when it collapses and therefore no longer offers any resistance. Then love manages to transfigure its usual identity and the ego finally opens up, the narcissistic shell breaks.

Possessed by a God

The greatest goods come to us precisely from this opening which, however, is traumatic for the ego, which would like to stay away from life. The ego suffers from openness and change, it would not want to confront itself with what it does not know, with the different that inhabits it, the so-called disturbing guest who hides inside him. In fact, for the ancients to love meant to be possessed by a God, the lover is the one who has God within himself, it is not the ego that thinks and speaks but is spoken, is acted upon. In the presence of love the ego undergoes a dislocation, therefore the ego does not respond to love but is moved by this powerful feeling that exposes it to a crisis, as love takes it away from its center, love breaks into the ‘I disrupting it.

What is the luck of this condition?


The luck is that in this condition the ego can enter into relationship with the other, another who is beyond the ego and therefore opens up and makes room for the different from himself, a part of me dies to give birth something new, therefore it temporarily resolves its boundaries, can reorganize itself into new configurations, psychological rebirth implies a partial yielding of the ego an overcoming of its obstinacy to resist, psychological rebirth implies the breaking of the narcissistic shell, after all, only what is exposed to a laceration can be reborn well.

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